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| Blogs > New2Midlo > Fun with a normal white guy... |
Do You Know Yourself?
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Do You Know Yourself? The words on the reen stung a bit. They were from a woman with whom I thought I saw what could be an amazing relationship. Our third date had been even more fun than the previous and it was clear our desire would take over on number and we'd become intimate. I'd told her I wanted us to be exclusive. Regular readers know I'm a fan of monogamy, plus I really liked this woman. But there were the words. I don't want an exclusive sexual relationship with you. After a bit of back and forth, I got to the heart of the matter. She wanted a sexual relationship with me but wanted to explore new possibilities, being fresh out of her marriage (dating separated people...never a good idea). She wanted to sleep around a bit. I responded by asking "you know we're talking about you, right? The woman who, on our second date, wouldn't invite me up to her apartment in order to continue the heavy make out session that had begun in my car because 'I barely know you'. The same woman, who on our third date, required some serious arm twisting before she finally relented to having me up; for the same reason, I might add. (and not to have sex) And you think you can casually fuck random guys?" While we were a couple, we would often joke about that, and she would always finish with 'I could totally be a slut.' Sure you could, sweetheart. My point in sharing this story is that her lack of understanding of who she was and what she was capable of could have torpedoed something great between the of us. (instead, it was her abysmal self-esteem that served as the projectile, but that's another story) The experience that spurred this entry though, occurred recently, and was deja vu all over again with a similar encounter a few ago. While both women fell into the same demographic, data points do not make a trend. But the data points are the same. The women were full blown submissives, who hadn't been with a man in at least a year. Having spotted their concealed desires, I brought each 'out of their shell' and was met with a sentiment of 'I want you to take me asap' and called 'master' by both. Then, to borrow a line from Top Gun, they each realized their sex drive wrote a check their body couldn't cash. In other words, both flaked. The first got halfway to the wine bar, at which we were meeting, and realized she couldn't go through with fucking a complete stranger. She was apologetic, I was supportive. There was some chemistry, but we never reconnected. The second ghosted me before we could meet. I sent her a note a week or so after, asking why she ghosted me, to which she responded to the effect of 'those things you said to me before we even met were rewed up'. Oh, you mean the things that you were self-stimulating to as I said them? As noted, both women couldn't overcome their own inhibitions, even though they clearly thought they could. The moral of these stories is understanding the person in the mirror is vital, when you're attempting to find a mate or chart your course. Without knowing yourself, you can never hope to truly know some else. |
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Well?
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Sounds to me like she needed a warm up or she saw astable relationship with you not a one time triste.
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4/24/2018 5:49 pm |
Well written
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1 post 4/24/2018 8:51 pm |
knowing what you want can be a serious conflict, sometimes more difficult than achieving it.
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